Infinity
by Ellixer
Summary: After Chiasmus, Max deals with what happened,and what she left behind. A slightly revised CH 3
1. Default Chapter

Title: Infinity  
Rating: PG  
Summary: What does Max do now, now that Chiasmus is dead, now that she's left her life behind.  
Endorse: Show belongs to Fox, JC. Story is mine. If you wanna archive, please do so, just email me first, and make sure my name is attached. Feedback is welcomed. So, send some.  
Note: I listened to Convergence, by Not Applicable, I found it on mp3.com. It's awesome, you should download it. Oh, and I kinda envisioned this whole thing in slow motion.   
  
Every step became a step farther away from the past. Of course you can never outrun the past. You may get away, but it will catch up with you eventually. Everything always does. Running away never solved anything, but it was all she could do. The rain never ceased. The pain never stopped. The reality never changed. This whole situation called life. A place called hell. Where is heaven, where did it go? Her life is one continuous cycle. Always escaping………. always.   
Through the torrents of rain she walked, walked toward her destiny. To what had always called to her. Somewhere, a place where she could hide in plain sight, get away from the good, and reclaim her past. What she should have done in the first place. A city of no angels, lest they be dark ones. A city of the devil. Crime reigned as high king and overlord. This is where she belongs. Those with no soul, the garbage dump for the soulless, and heartless. Her new home.  
  
  
He just sat there. Sitting, and staring off into space. He didn't know what to do.  
"What did she say?"  
"She had to leave. Something about ignoring it, and she couldn't do it anymore."  
"Where she say she was goin?"  
"I don't know." He looked at her. "Infinity." Then his eyes fell back to the ground.  
"Infinity?" She asked. He just nodded his head.  
"She doesn't want to be found."  
"That name sounds familiar."  
"Name?"  
"Yeah, I think it's the name of a place I heard about once."  
"What? Where? Tell me." He looked at her with pleading eyes.  
"I… I don't remember. Sorry boo. But I can check it out, I know someone I can talk to." She looked at him a moment. "Look, I gotta go now. But we'll find her." She walked off leaving Logan to sit there.  
"Infinity?" He whispered quietly to himself. Turning to his computer, he began a search for the city known as infinity.  
  
Her boots splashed through the puddles of muck, and sewage. This city was never known for it's immaculate upkeep. People huddled in their rags along the side of the streets, and a neon glow radiated from every street corner. A man ran by her, bumping into her shoulder, followed by another man cursing loudly. Wrapping her jacket around her, she sighed, her breath hanging thickly in the air. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Every step was an eternity. Her eyes darted around through the darkness, looking for some place to stay, at least for the night. No place would be clean, so the first place would do just fine. She continued her stroll along the dingy streets, and came upon an inn called the Prancing Pig. A man came flying out of the door, almost hitting her. The muscular doorman had thrown him out. Walking up to the door she tried to enter.  
"You want to move." She said tiredly.  
"You don't belong here little girl." He growled with a small smile.  
"I won't ask you again."  
"I'm not afraid of you." His eyebrow arched, and he crossed his arms in front of him.  
"Ok, you asked for it." Her foot flew up to his groin, as he slumped over she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the doorway, throwing him to the ground. Dusting her hands off she walked in through the door. A man behind a barred window looked at her with hungry, roving eyes. "Is this where I can get a room?"  
"Yeah. Fifty a night. Bar's that way." He pointed to a door behind her. "Rooms are up there." He pointed to the stairs. She slipped him the money, and he gave her a key. Her boots pounded up the stairs. The place looked somewhat clean. Though the people it held did not. Walking past a few prostitutes, who looked at her questioningly, she finally got to her room, which to her surprise wasn't covered by roaches. It was somewhat decent. Sitting down in a chair next to the bed, a single tear rolled down her cheek. Her face remained stoic, and jaw tightened. Leaving was hard, but she had to get on, she had to forget as best she could.   
She shut the light off, and laid down on the bed. The moonlight streamed in from the bay window behind her. No matter how hard she tried, the memories and the images could not be washed from her mind. Not just the …… the memory of what she'd done, but of Logan. Sighing deeply, she closed her eyes and looked back to the days before………….before it all went to hell.  
  
"So what do we do now?"  
"How about you marry me."  
"What?" She chuckled.  
"Nothing is coming between us again. I'm not going to lose you."  
  
  
"Logan?"  
"Yeah?"  
"You know, I never saw myself gettin married."  
"I knew the first moment I saw you."  
"I'm serious."  
"Yeah, well I guess me neither."  
"Do you think it'll be safe to have kids?"  
"It'll never be safe. The world will always be dangerous somehow, someway. There's nothing anyone can do about it, it's just a fact of life."  
"Logan."  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm really tired, can you please stop talkin so much."   
  
"I'll do what ever you want as long as you let him go, and I know he is safe."  
"I'll comply with your feeble wishes." He let Logan go, who ran to Max and looked her in the face.  
"Don't do this." He pleaded as tears streamed down his face. "Please Max." She couldn't look at the pain in his eyes and let her head hang.   
"You know what you have to do, and what I have to do. I love you." He touched her face.  
  
  
"I have to go. Can never come back. Have to leave." Max strode towards the door.  
"What, is something wrong?"  
"I'll kill him, I'll kill you if I stay. "Max wanted to cry, but it didn't happen. "Tell Logan I love him."  
  
Everything changed so quickly. Her life was going to change for the better, she had found love again. But one night, one man, one word, and it all disappeared without a trace. Maybe it just wasn't mean to be. To think, she was engaged to be married, a concept unknown to her before Logan. Married, and maybe kids, and who knew what her life could have been. But that path has changed, she's on a new path now. The right one, right? Whatever happened to that soldier inside? It's still there, but not the same. She longed for those quiet nights she laid next to him, watching him sleep. The worries would hide away for that little while.  
  
  
  
He sat in the darkness, stoically staring out the window into the depths of the night. His soul pleaded desperately, calling out to her, hoping in some way she would feel it, and…………… that she would come back. Life would stand still for him until he could hold her again, and gaze upon her angelic face. So far his search had turned up nothing, but he was not about to give up so easily. They say it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all, but it hurts more when you know what you are losing, and to know that you may never get it back. He needed her back, but would she be the same? They had planned a life together just a short time ago. Marriage…………..  
He squeezed his eyes shut, as if that might relieve the pain, but it made it worse. The memory of when she first dropped in, that fateful night that changed both their lives. The ensuing chaos that brought them together, and tore them so desperately apart. He thought he could never have loved again, not as much as he once did, but she changed that for him. He felt a love greater than before, a love beyond the realm of rational explanation. And now his heart was torn from his chest once more. This time she had done it herself. But he couldn't blame her really. She had been through a lot. Things he couldn't possibly imagine, but he whished she would have let him in. Let him try to help, all he wanted was to make the pain go away. Maybe it's beyond his capabilities. Maybe it goes deeper than he thought. But that shouldn't change the love they shared. That shouldn't make her drop him, leave him alone. Or should it?   
  
  
The tears wanted to leave the barricade of her sad, tired eyes, but she would not let them. Slowly sitting up she peered into the darkness, and for an instant she saw Logan standing in front of her, a sad look on his face. Shaking her head she decided a drink or two was in order. Without hesitation she walked out of her room, and down to the stingy bar. Smoke hung in the air like fog. She walked up to the bar and threw her money on the bar top.  
"Give me three bottles of the strongest thing you got." The man, who looked to be 19, turned and grabbed three bottles from the shelves behind him. Grabbing them, she walked back to her room, and in the sanctuary of its darkness, she opened a bottle and tried her best to drown every memory she ever held. The pain she felt was unlike any she had ever encountered before, and she had been shot and stabbed, and had horrible things done to her in Manticore. But this pain hurt deep down, penetrating her soul. This pain, this pain she did not wish on her worst enemy. 


	2. A brief chat

Title: Infinity (2/?)  
Author: Xtrekangel  
Summary: Logan and Max have a chat.  
Rating: PG  
Endorse: The show and characters belong to FOX and Cameron, and whoever else. Story is mine.  
Notes: Please send feedback, please so I can continue to write. Archive anywhere as long as you ask me, and my name is attached and so on. You can check out more of my fic at .   
  
"Tell me you love me. Tell me everything has been worth it, and you have no regrets."   
"I love you." The words were forced, not because they were lies, they were truth in its purest form, but because they were sacred and it was scary how true they were. "I wouldn't have been able to come as far as I have, to be the person I am if it wasn't for you. You are everything to me." Their eyes were pleading in vain, wanting more than just simple words could express. But they could not see each others pain.  
"No, I haven't made who you are. You haven't changed." She was revealing too much of herself.  
"But I want to."  
"No, you're perfect." Her words are quiet.  
"I thought that you were supposed to be the perfect one?"  
"Maybe by genes but not in my heart and soul. Those are completely different. You're good at heart. I……I'm………..my heart is cold. I have no soul." The words came slowly, painfully.  
"That's not true." Pain in his voice.  
"Yes it is."   
Silence.  
"Tell me where you are."  
"I can't. You can't know, things are better this way."  
"Why do you want me love you if you don't want me to find you?"  
Silence.  
"I'm going to find you, I will never give up."  
"You're never going to find me, not like I once was." *sigh* "I should never have called you."  
"I would have kept on paging you."  
"I would have thrown it against the wall."  
"But you didn't."  
"All the bottles Jack Daniels I drank made me stupid."  
"You've been drinking?"  
"I should go now."  
"Don't do this Max. We can work it out together. Come back, come back for me. Remember our plans, our future?"  
"I'm not good enough for you." The phone was hung up.  
"You're too good." His whisper is against the glass as he hears the dial tone.  
  
The darkness enfolded her defeated spirit. She wiped a single tear away, and grabbed another bottle. The hardened warrior, she smirked, fallen, defeated, lost, alone, scared. Yes, scared, scared of what she is to become, and scared of losing what she was. The neon lights glared outside her window. She stared at it, as if in a trance  
"She called me."  
"What? What'd she say?"  
"She doesn't want to come back." He shook his head. "She sounded so detached, so calm. She said she'd been drinking. I imagine she'd have to drink allot to get drunk. But…………."  
"What boo?"  
"I don't know, I think there is still hope. Right now she's just lost, and I need to find her." He looked up at her, eyes blazing with determination. "Did you find anything out?"  
"Yes, I think. I don't know if he's down though."  
"Tell me everything." 


	3. Confrontation

Title: Infinity (3/?)  
  
Author: Xtrekangel  
  
Summary: Logan and Max have a chat.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Endorse: The show and characters belong to FOX and Cameron, and whoever else. Story is mine.  
  
Feedback: Please send feedback, please so I can continue to write. xtrekangel@yahoo.com. Archive anywhere as long as you ask me, and my name is attached and so on.  
  
Notes: You can check out more of my fic http://www.angelfire.com/scifi2/xfilefic/index.html. This is a revised version, mainly being that it's longer. I've had a major case of writers block for my DA fics that doesn't seem to want to go away, so I'm sorry for anyone who is still sticking around to read them.  
  
A small cry of desperation parted her parched lips. Nightmares plagued her mind, making her relive the moments that she wanted to go away. She growled and stood up throwing the bottle she held against the wall. It shattered, throwing glass and liquor everywhere. Sitting here in her own self pity for days, what had she become? Sitting back down on the bed she pulled on her boots then her coat and stormed out of the room. A man walking down the hall drunkenly spat some lewd remarks, and she pushed him away, sending him against the wall. Any sober being would know to stay out of her way just by the look of her. Completely dressed in black, an angry look upon her face, a determined walk, her trench coat flowing out behind her, her hair spilling down across her shoulders.   
  
  
  
Maybe she had given up too easily, maybe she had given in too easily. Maybe she had done a lot of things she shouldn't have done, but that still didn't bring back the lives of those people.   
  
  
  
It seemed to rain constantly here, never ending sadness and gloom with the occasional flash of lightning and boom of thunder. Max stepped out into the torrent, her boots splashing into the mucky pools of water and who knows what else. Looking up into the rain, she felt the water wash away the sweat and liquor smell she had acquired. Then she turned and walked down the sidewalk, not exactly sure where she was going, but she would rot if she continued to sit in her room.   
  
  
  
'Max.' The sound of her name was faint, she thought it was a hallucination, and only paused ion her step a second before continuing on.  
  
  
  
'Max!' Her name louder, footsteps behind her. She stopped, and for a brief moment smiled as she turned around and caught site of Logan and Original Cindy moving towards her. But her smile soon faded as she came to her senses.  
  
  
  
'What are you doing here, how did you find me?'  
  
  
  
'Max, I told you I'd find you.' Logan said quietly. A smile and a frown played at his lips, as if he couldn't decided on which emotion to show.  
  
  
  
'I cant let a girl be here by herself.' O.C. said with a grin.  
  
  
  
'I cant…….I can't come back I told you that.' Max turned around.  
  
  
  
'We can help boo.' O.C. pleaded stepping up behind her.   
  
  
  
'You can't bring those people back!' Max yelled violently turning to face them. 'You can't bring back the people I killed! I've become what I was made to be.' Her eyes glowed at them with anger and hatred, all aimed at herself. 'Goodbye.' Her voice wavered slightly as she turned and strode back off into the night.  
  
'What we gonna do?' Cindy asked quietly still staring into the space Max had been standing.  
  
'We're going to stay here and we're going to change her mind.' Logan moved beside her.  
  
'She's trippin. How are we gonna get her to change her mind?'  
  
'We have to show her she's not as bad as she thinks.' He sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. 'Let's find a place to stay.' She gave him a look of disgust. 'I have some connections, we can find a clean place.'  
  
  
  
Max stood in the shadows watching their conversation. She didn't want things to be complicated, she didn't want to hurt them, she just wanted to accept what her life had become.  
  
She had been made to be a soldier, to do the dirty work. Now that she had actually done the thing she was bred to do, kill, she was torn. Max had spent her life living as a normal person and good thief. Then Logan showed up and turned her into a crusader for the people, doing what was right.   
  
Why couldn't she just accept what she is? She's a killer.  
  
TBC Advice, help, comments greatly needed. I need help to get over this writers block which is greatly frustrating. 


End file.
